Odyssey of Marriage

Surprising (little) things that improve your marriage

If trying to improve your marriage feels like pushing a boulder up a hill, maybe you're trying too hard. Louisa Kamps traverses the small moves a couple can make to get big results. More »Surprising (little) things that improve your marriage

How to reconnect with your spouse
Are you dealing with an unavailable partner? While distance can be a relationship red … More »How to reconnect with your spouse
Date ideas that won't break the bank
When spring is in the air, it often seems that is love too. It makes sense: During the … More »Date ideas that won't break the bank
9 Marriage Problems that Are Actually Good for Your Relationship
Sad woman
Every marriage has its uh-oh moments that leave you questioning your compatibility as a couple. While some behaviors, like cheating, are obvious deal-breakers, other seeming threats can actually have a positive impact on your relationship. Below, nine marital mannerisms that may seem ominous but truly can be good, according to experts. Plus, what to watch out for so things don't go too far. Photo by: Thinkstock

1. You both fantasize about other people. "Fantasies are an ancient aphrodisiac," says Iris Krasnow, author of The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married. "A vivid imagination allows you to open up to your partner physically and emotionally." So thinking about a sexy neighbor, for example, can improve your marriage-as long as those racy visions stay in your mind. That means leave it out of pillow talk; neither of you needs to know exactly who-or what-the other is thinking about. And don't let daydreams jeop
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The Love Shack: 7 Ways to Do Date Night Without Leaving Your Home
By Babble.com | Odyssey of Marriage | Thu, May 10, 2012 5:50 PM EDT | Comments
Dancing
When kids enter into a family, it makes life more fun, more purposeful and more beautiful. There is no doubt that it causes a strain on the relationship you have with your partner: the time gets split up, the ability to get up and go becomes hindered and energy levels can be zapped.

That is why it is important to work on your relationship as well - keep it alive, fun and loving. Let's face it, going out on a date with kids at home can sometimes feel impossible. You have to find a babysitter you trust and it can add up to quite a lot of money once you factor in the cost of the date and the babysitter. Most of us only have time for that once a month, but most of us need the time with our partner more often.

As parents, we are really great at thinking on our toes - it's something we need to be good at with all the strange things our kids like to throw at us. So, why not apply that to your relationship and think outside the box? You don't need to plan a date far in advance just to spend
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The Newlywed's Guide to a Happy Marriage

Newlyweds
Don't go from lovey dovey to angry birds: Here's your guide to a having a long, happy marriage right from the start.

What to watch for: When University of Oklahoma researchers studied newlyweds, they found that expressions of love and affection between a wife and husband drop by half in the first two years of marriage, and researchers find that most couples experience a significant drop in happiness about 18 months after the wedding. Perhaps that's the reason why national divorce statistics show that most marital splits occur in the first five years-and that couples married for about three years are especially vulnerable. This early, important stage can seem scary, marriage experts say, because we see our own shortcomings reflected in our spouses' actions now, just as we saw our own sterling qualities reflected in our partners before. Now: It's time to make love happen instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

1. Uncover your hidden marriage expectations. We all come into marriag

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10 Fun Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship
Spice Up Your Relationship
Thanks to the best-selling erotic novel "50 Shades of Grey," women around the country are doing more than just turning the book's pages - they're looking to turn the heat up in their bedrooms, as well. Whether you're taking inspiration from E.L. James's titillating trilogy or just feeling a little bit frisky, a lukewarm sex life can easily be a complaint of the past. With just a little bit of effort and an open, positive attitude, you can take your sex life to a whole new level.

Say Farewell to the Flat-Screen
It's time to take the television off the wall and out of your bedroom so you and your partner can be each other's primetime entertainment. Rather than zoning out to the latest reality show, de-stress with your spouse by offering him a massage or simply lighting a candle and trying to unwind in bed without outside distractions. You'll be surprised what of night focusing on each other can lead to.
2. Send a Not-So-Subtle Message Sending racy text messages (otherwise known as "

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11 ways to keep the spark alive
Finally, alone at last! Top experts offer their best tips for keeping your relationship hot and exciting long after the honeymoon!

One of the fabulous things about marrying your soul mate is experiencing a unique connection and level of familiarity. But when things are too comfortable in the bedroom, it can cause problems. "Before you're married, your sex life has little competition in your relationship," explains Debra Macleod, coauthor of Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex. "But after you're married, sex has to compete with conflicting schedules, money concerns, in-laws and eventually children. It takes a toll on your sex life, especially when compounded by the increase in sexual familiarity and the decrease in honeymoon hormones flowing through your veins!"

Though it's important to recognize that your love life will change over time, there's a lot you can do to maintain that spark. Here, tips for keeping things hot long past the honeymoon.
1. Reach Out
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Qualities that All Good Bosses Should Have

Being a boss is for the brave. With a seemingly endless list of projects to manage and problems to solve it's easy to feel like you're running an asylum instead of a business! And while most bosses would like to create a dream work environment for their staff, when it comes down to the crunch, it's easy to see that dream as a luxury that the company can't afford…. but you're WRONG.

Despite your greatest fears as a boss about what your employees want, you'd be surprised to discover it's rarely more holidays or even bigger pay checks. That's right, what they crave even more than a day at the beach is a work environment that challenges and inspires them. Truth is, when your team feels valued, understood and their talents are being utilized, the results are sweeter than a mango daiquiri in the sun.

To find out how to create the ultimate work environment in your company we headed to paradise itself, Hawaii, to speak with two women who have a thriving business teaching bosses how to bring a slice of nirvana into the workplace.

Cindy Sakai and Sarah Kalicki-Nakamura are the co-founders of TH!NK, a management consultancy firm that specializes in creating idyllic work environments for companies great and small. The bubbly duo have years of experience in the real world but the title that best describes them is, "Dream Coaches"-- a special form of management training where they help CEOS and managers understand how to create dream work environments (paradise) and get the best out of their employees.

So pack you're bags, you're about to get your ticket to paradise.

Paradise=Profit

Creating environments that employee look forward to working in isn't just good for their morale; it's good for your bottom line. Here are the tangibles:




Happy staff = Fewer sick days.
Inspired staff = More dynamic work environment as staff feel safe taking bigger risks.
Empowered employees = Less people saying 'That's not my job'.
Improved communication = Better product and overall service for customers.
Increased job security and satisfaction = Reduced gossiping and need to babysitting interpersonal office relationships.
Longer staff retention = Saves money and time otherwise wasted on training new employees.
Good work environment = Staff work longer hours and with more passion.


Ok, so now you know the benefits of creating a dream work environment but before you start doing the Hula, it's time to address the biggest mistakes bosses make.

Biggest Mistakes Bosses Make
Micromanaging:

Bosses employ experts in their field to do a job but after that many bosses feel that they need to micro manage their employees forgetting that their initial reason for hiring is because of a person's specific strengths and expertise. Let your employees grow and empower them in the position you hire them for.

Thinking paychecks equal passion

A big mistake bosses can make is to mistake that a paycheck equals passion. Passion equals passion. Don't be mistaken that just because you pay your employees that they don't have ambitions and needs as people in a work place. Empower them and excite them, make them feel motivated so that they will work above and beyond their initial roles.

So you know the mistakes but what about some tips on how to fix them. Cindy and Sarah suggest the following.

How to Become a Better Boss

Build trust

Be straightforward, follow through with your decisions and promises and be a reliable boss to your employees.

Know Your People

Take time out to actually talk to your employees. Check up on what they want and take time to talk to your employees on a one on one basis. Trust me, they will feel wanted and will be more willing to work harder for you.

Challenge Yourself

Being self-aware is a big strength and a positive move towards good boss skills. Challenge yourself as a boss to make changes and move forward with new ways to think through strategies and managing your company. If you are moving and changing then you are also helping create a more productive company.

So there you have it - the tips on how to become a good boss and ensure that you and your employees can live the dream in their office. I'll toast to that!

Dangers in Your Mattress

What's hiding in your mattress? 
Investigating all the creepy crawlies and toxins that may lurk in your bed is enough to cause nightmares."I can think of no single place that challenges a person immunologically day in and day out than a mattress," writes microbiologist Philip Tierno, PhD, in his book, The Secret Life of Germs.

Related: When to Clean the Sheets

Mattresses typically accumulate bodily fluids such as sweat, blood, and urine, which become breeding grounds for bacteria. While many strains are relatively harmless, according to Tierno some can cause serious conditions such as gangrene. Children, the elderly, and people with compromised immune systems are especially vulnerable. Other microscopic mattress invaders include fungi, mold, and dust mites.

Dust mites are relatives of the spider and feed off dry skin cells shed by humans. These imperceptibly tiny pests cause allergies, wheezing, and asthma. A larger pest is the bed bug.

Related: Bed Bugs Can Infest Your Office Too Once thought to be completely wiped out, bed bugs are now a public health problem in all fifty states and epidemic in cities such as New York. The nasty critters don't spread diseases but they do afflict victims with an itchy, painful rash—and they are notoriously difficult to eradicate. The Mayo Clinic advises using a professional exterminator to deal with an invasion. Commercial insect foggers may not be effective against bed bugs and leave a toxic residue of pesticide on your bedroom surfaces.

If your pet sleeps with you, add ticks, fleas, and whatever germs and filth Fido or Purrfect has picked up on its paws or fur to the list to the list of invaders. The Centers for Disease Control reports that sleeping with pets has been linked to Methicillin-Resistant Stapylococcus aureus (MRSA), parasitic infections such as hookworm, and even plague.

Related: Gene Points to Achilles Heel In MRSA

Harmful chemicals are a more insidious danger lurking in your bedroom than germs and bugs—they are almost impossible to detect until you or someone in your family has a health problem. Conventional mattresses are made with mixture of petroleum based products such as polyurethane foam, nylon, polyester, and PVC that off-gas volatile organic compounds (VOCs). They are also treated with chemical flame retardants. These substances—especially in unstable combinations—can cause allergies and breathing problems. "No one has tested every mattress for VOCs," Sonya Lunder, senior analyst at Environmental Working Group (EWG) tells Shine. "Certification might help consumers make affordable choices." Lunder says even organic mattresses aren't "conclusively better" and warns that "greenwashing" is a big problem for consumers. She points out that "natural" soy and latex mattresses also emit VOCs and the label "organic" can simply mean that the cotton used in the outermost layer was grown without pesticides. Lunder suggests airing out all new mattresses for a few days before using them and knowing what the return policy is in case you have a reaction.

To keep your mattress as germ-free and healthy as possible, it's a good idea to vacuum it and seal with a tightly woven, allergy-resistant cover. Wash your bedding weekly in hot water and a little bleach. Ultra violet light is also a disinfectant. While it may not be convenient to drag your mattress outside, futons, children's mattresses and crib mattresses can all be periodically aired out on a sunny day. This will also help eliminate lingering chemicals.